Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
