Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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