look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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