He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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