I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
