yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize