I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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