I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
