If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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