i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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