New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
