why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
