an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize