when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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