Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
