i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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