You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
