Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
