i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
