After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
