quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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