I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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