what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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