I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
