Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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