you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
40s are totally the cure
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
