I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
