If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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