i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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