Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
