the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
