the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
