so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
COCAINE IS GR8
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
