This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
