Everything about him screamed your future.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
