Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
