3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
