Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
