Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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