ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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