I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
