i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
