She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
