i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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