carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
So. Much. Porn.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
