i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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