dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
