we're blogging at a bar
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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