she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
