And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They are going to name an STD after you.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
