True but thats because hes a fetus.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
