Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
