Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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