I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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