He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
