Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
