What did we do last night that was yellow?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
