me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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