I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
