bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
