I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
