she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
