You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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