I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
