I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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