I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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