I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
