i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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