K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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