So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
