At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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