Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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