I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize