last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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